'NEED' A poem for Ant McMahon by Clinton De Vere

NEED

A Poem for Ant McMahon

by Clinton De Vere



I didn't need  this to happen

Like some crappy excuse

Or the tragic image of a dancing bear

Time floated, bloated

Towards me

And said, in a real gruff voice

Unspectacular in visage

'You, my boy! Today is your day!'



And the minutes pass

Dragged by the hours

Into days



And where does it stop?

All this - where does it lead us?

Does it interfere with our mental state?

You'd better believe it does.

Oh dear boy

I didn't need this to happen

To you

Sweet nut brown boy

Barefoot boy

That photo of you washing the family bus

Head tilted defiantly upwards

As though taking on the world

Why did you have to leave us?

Stacked up here

Like jars in a pantry

Waiting to join you




I wish I could go back there

To the dark brightness

Kunai scraped

Tongue dried

Dusty feet

Light touch

Telling moments

Quiet peace

Foolish hopes

Oh dear

Oh dear

I wish I could go back there

Now

The heart wants it so much the stomach burbles.




23.02.09

Düsseldorf